Posts Tagged ‘movies’

All the News That’s Fit to . . . Something or Other

April 14, 2011

Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, “The paper.”

— One of Mike Myers’ characters in So I Married an Axe Murderer

. . . and from that illustrious paper comes “news” of the shocking source of our worldwide zombie outbreak (yeah, I didn’t notice there was one, either): ZOMBIE ANTS FROM RIO!

In other news, the annual springtime invasion of our house by tiny ants seems to be underway once again. Hopefully they’re not of the zombie variety. Zombie ants make Batboy cringe.

In a perfectly rational segue, here’s my favorite line from So I Married an Axe Murderer, spoken by another of Mike Myers’ characters: “Heed! Pants! NOW!”

Jesse James, Meet Frankenstein(‘s Daughter)

January 8, 2011

It looks like Colonel Sanders in a Gothic dungeon. I have no idea what's going on here, either.

From the I-Can’t-Believe-Something-Like-This-Actually-Exists Department, here is a film called Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter. It’s available to watch and download, for free, on the Internet Archive.

You’re welcome.

Toddler-Free Day!

June 14, 2009

It’s an odd, toddler-free day here at home. My parents have the kid for the day and have plunged him headlong into the chaos that descends upon Strasburg, PA and its tackily touristy railroad whenever Thomas the Train is in town.

So that leaves us with just the baby to take care of. It’s amazing how easy one kid seems after you’ve been taking care of two for a while. It’s also amazing how my wife and I have such vastly different tastes in movies. She’s currently watching I Know Who Killed Me downstairs. I don’t know why.

Aside from the B-grade horror flick screaming of Lindsay Lohan, it’s oddly quiet around here.

Hail Nero!

May 6, 2009

For those of you keeping track, the world has now lost two cast members of the Ancient Rome segment of Mel Brooks’ History of the World, Part I in the span of just under two weeks.

In addition to Bea Arthur (who played a Roman unemplyoment office worker in the movie), Dom DeLouise has also died. His portrayal of Nero was, I believe, one of the greatest portraits of a legendary historical figure ever committed to celluloid.

I’m only half kidding when I say that.

In his role as Nero, DeLouise basically gave the world a look at what it would likely have endured if Elvis Presley had lived much longer than he did. An accurate portrayal of the Roman emperor? Probably not. But maybe, just maybe, elements of it might have been. Or at least you could imagine it as such in the darkest recesses of your mind as an example of absolute power corrupting absolutely, and that’s what made it so funny. At any rate, it was a brilliant comedic performance.

The man wore many hats, but I will also always remember DeLouise fondly for his voice work in The Secret of NIMH, which is probably the first movie I can remember clearly having seen as a kid.

“Malvert Thanks!”

May 1, 2009

Behold as I mark my triumphant return to blogging (taking care of a toddler and an infant on your own during the day is much more taxing on your free time than taking care of just one infant or just one toddler, I’m finding) by lamely phoning in this latest dispatch. So, here’s another occasional odd quote of the day.

This one is from the cult classic low-budget early ’80s spoof of low-budget early ’80s slasher films, Student Bodies. Set simultaneously on Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Jamie Lee Curtis’ birthday, it contains a running body count, many horse-head bookends, and the following now inappropriate yet still somehow funny nugget of a line:

“Sexual repression causes swine flu.”

Speaking of vaguely inappropriate comments about swine flu, there’s a great opinion piece by Reuben Navarette of CNN.com riffing on Vice President Biden’s latest open-mouth-insert-foot moment as a way to highlight the idiotic immigrant bashing going on in certain circles in response to the outbreak:

The Obama administration forgot the first rule in a crisis: Never send Vice President Joe Biden to calm people’s fears . . .

Kudos to President Obama and Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano for instilling common sense into all this by pointing out that closing the border wouldn’t do any good now that the flu has jumped the fence, so to speak . . .

But what I waited for — and never saw — was a similar effort by the administration to defend the other group unfairly blamed for spreading the flu: Mexican immigrants. If the concern is with people who might visit Mexico, then we should scrutinize legal immigrants and U.S. citizens who can travel freely between the two countries. Consider that the rash of cases in New York stemmed from students who went to Cancun for spring break.

Yet, ironically, it’s illegal immigrants who usually don’t travel back and forth who catch the blame . . .

Here at home, we’ve actually got some surgical masks. No, we didn’t rush out and buy them on the basis of hysterical news reporting. We’ve had a big box of them for about two months now, ever since both of our kids came down with RSV. We actually wound up taking the baby to the emergency room one night back then because of it. She’s since mostly recovered, but as a precaution we were limiting visitors to our home and making anyone who did come over wear a mask for a while. If you have really young kids at home, I suggest you read up on RSV at the CDC’s web site.

On the bright side, now we’re all set if microbiological Armageddon hits.

Try To Wrap Your Brain Around This One

June 6, 2008

From the BBC News article “Hints of Time Before The Big Bang,” comes news of fluctuation found in cosmic microwave background radiation that may “contain hints that our Universe ‘bubbled off’ from a previous one.”

The article continues,

Their model suggests that new universes could be created spontaneously from apparently empty space. From inside the parent universe, the event would be surprisingly unspectacular.

Describing the team’s work at a meeting of the American Astronomical Society (AAS) in St Louis, Missouri, co-author Professor Sean Carroll explained that “a universe could form inside this room and we’d never know”.

. . .

In his presentation, the Caltech astronomer explained that by creating a Big Bang from the cold space of a previous universe, the new universe begins its life in . . . an ordered state.

The apparent direction of time – and the fact that it’s hard to put a broken egg back together – is the consequence.

Much work remains to be done on the theory: the researchers’ first priority will be to calculate the odds of a new universe appearing from a previous one.

In the meantime, the team have turned to the results from WMAP.

Detailed measurements made by the satellite have shown that the fluctuations in the microwave background are about 10% stronger on one side of the sky than those on the other.

Sean Carroll conceded that this might just be a coincidence, but pointed out that a natural explanation for this discrepancy would be if it represented a structure inherited from our universe’s parent.

Meanwhile, Professor Carroll urged cosmologists to broaden their horizons: “We’re trained to say there was no time before the Big Bang, when we should say that we don’t know whether there was anything – or if there was, what it was.”

If the Caltech team’s work is correct, we may already have the first information about what came before our own Universe.

In other words, that old stoner theory that our entire universe is some molecule in a purple piece of grass somewhere may just be accurate. To update Dr. L. Ron Bumquist from the film version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the five states of being in drug culture must now be considered square, hip, groovy, cool, and cosmologist.

What would be really groovy, or, perhaps I should say, cosmologist, was if a new universe bubbled off every time somebody said, “We can’t stop here! This is bat country!”


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