Overheard, Unfortunately

I don’t know whether it’s a result of the routes I pick or if the town in which I live is really just that sad, but I end up overhearing the strangest things when I’m out on my nightly runs. Here’s the gem from last night:

Picture it! Sicily, 1922. One teenager (we’ll call him High School Tool) is on the front porch of a house, bellowing inside to another teenager so that the entire neighborhood can’t help but hear their conversation.

High School Tool: Hey Jed, remember what all the straight girls said!

Jed: Huh?

High School Tool: Remember what all the straight girls said, that I had sex with!

Jed: What?

High School Tool: [his voice beaming with pride] There’s sex with people, and there’s sex with you!

For an instant, I considered yelling, “Dude, they don’t even consider you people!” In the end, didn’t blurt out anything. It was likely a wise decision, since the kid looked like he might have been hitting the ‘roids pretty heavily.

Caption: Worst pick-up line ever. Image: A disgusting creature says to a woman, "I'm my own species, baby!"

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