Die Diet, Die!

While the kids were eating egg-in-the-basket for lunch today, a truly evil culinary idea struck me: you could build a sandwich around this.

For those who don’t know, you make egg-in-the-basket by heating a pan and cutting a hole out of the middle of a piece of bread. After heating butter in the pan, add the bread sans hole, and crack an egg into the hole. If you want, you can use the bread cut out to form the hole for dipping. Egg-in-the-basket occupies a strange nether-realm between fried eggs with toast and monte cristo since the egg seeps into the surrounding bread, and you can either leave it sunny side up or flip it and cook it over easy. It’s ridiculously simple to make and ridiculously good. If made over easy, it looks sort of like this:

Egg-in-the-basket.

From Wikipedia.

Since I really don’t want my kids getting salmonella from eating undercooked eggs, I make it for them fried on both sides with the egg cooked the whole way through. They love it. Done this way, it also holds together in one piece surprisingly well, which makes it an ideal starting point for all sorts of unhealthy concoctions I’m fearful of trying like:

  1. Egg-in-the-Basket Grilled Cheese. Why stop at using bread to make a grilled cheese sandwich, when you can use two pieces of egg-in-the-basket instead? You can fry two pieces sunny side up in a buttered pan, take them out, add more butter to the pan, add one of the eggs-in-the basket flipped over, put your cheese (and maybe a tomato slice if you’re into that) on top of it, and place the other egg-in-the-basket sunny side up over that. When the side on the bottom is done cooking, take it out, add more butter to the pan, and flip over the whole sandwich to cook the other side. Personally, that’s as far as I’d go since I don’t eat meat. However, if you’re a carnivore, why stop at grilled cheese when you could instead make an:
  2. Egg-in-the-Basket Patty Melt. Oh, yes. I know what you’re thinking, and, yes, you really should cook the hamburger first so that you can use a combination of hamburger grease and butter for frying the rest of the sandwich. But really, why stop there when you could instead make an:
  3. Egg-in-the-Basket Bacon Patty Melt. If you believe bacon makes everything better, this one’s for you. Cook the bacon in the pan first. Cook the hamburger in the bacon grease. Fry the egg-in-the-basket in the bacon/hamburger grease/butter. You get the picture. You know you want it.

I wonder how many diets I’ll destroy by putting this on the Internet . . .

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One Response to “Die Diet, Die!”

  1. GOOD GOD, DON’T EAT THAT! – Thanksgiving Leftover Edition « A Tale Told by an Idiot Says:

    […] I’ve occasionally used this space to write about Frankenstein-like food concoctions I’ve created that would frighten Rachel Ray, I’ve been thinking it might be time to […]

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