Customer Satisfaction Survey

We Value Your Money Opinion!

Welcome to our Customer Satisfaction Survey.
Thank you for unwittingly selling us your soul agreeing to participate.

Void where prohibited. View Sweepstakes Rules for details.

Visit Malbolge our Winner’s Page to see who some of our lucky customers have been. Click here for additional contact information. Information collected in this survey will not be provided to any third-party vendors. It’s open season for second and fourth-party vendors, though. View our nonexistent Privacy Policy for more obfuscation details.

Please locate the slop heap restaurant number on the front of your receipt.  It may say “store number,” “restaurant number,” or “shop number”.  Enter the number in the space below exactly as it appears on the receipt.  Click Next to continue.  (Please be sure to include any letters or numbers.)

We appreciate your taking the time to give us your feedback, suckers. You have now been automatically entered into our nefarious database weekly sweepstakes. You’ll know at the end of the survey if you are a finalist for our weekly sweepstakes drawing (You won’t be). Good luck!

When responding, please think only about your most recent visit to this sty restaurant.

Did you use the drive-thru?
( ) Yes.
( ) No.
( ) Heliport, baby!

How many days ago did you visit this restaurant?

( ) Today
( ) Yesterday
( ) 2 days ago
( ) 3 days ago
( ) 4 days ago
( ) 5 days ago
( ) 6 days ago
( ) 7 days ago
( ) 8 days ago
( ) Too stoned to remember

Based on your most recent experience, would you recommend this restaurant to a friend or family member?

( ) Yes
( ) No
( ) Yes, but only because I hate said family member
( ) I’m filling out this survey because I patronize Taco Bell and/or Long John Silvers, ergo I have no friends, ergo this question is irrelevant

If you choose, you can leave vengeful screeds comments for the overworked and underpaid employees or manager.

Thank you for your feedback, which we will print out and use for kindling. Unsurprisingly Unfortunately, you are not a finalist for this week’s sweepstakes drawing.  We like to make you think Your opinion matters, so please try again in six weeks!


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