A wiser person than myself once said that having a toddler is a lot like having a drunk roommate. They stagger about, you can’t understand a word they say, they randomly drool and spit up, they get violently angry at random intervals, and they constantly try to do strange and dangerous things.
Raising a toddler has caused me to say all sorts of strange things as well. Sentences that I never imagined could issue from my mouth pass through my lips on a frighteningly regular basis. For example, this morning I said all of the following:
- The toilet is not a drum!
- The cat is not a drum!
- Don’t pull the cat’s tail!
- Don’t suck on the cat! (One of our cats is absurdly tolerant. The rest avoid the kid like the plague.)
- The toilet is not a toy box!