A Triumph of “Citizen Journalism”

Please excuse the dripping sarcasm of the post title, but this is just astonishing. If you ever wanted to know how much damage one random doofus with a modem calling themselves a journalist and being granted a touch of legitimacy by a major news organization could inflict, you just had to look no further than yesterday morning, when CNN’s “iReport” ran the following “news” piece:

Steve Jobs was rushed to the ER just a few hours ago after suffering a major heart attack. I have an insider who tells me that paramedics were called after Steve claimed to be suffering from severe chest pains and shortness of breath. My source has opted to remain anonymous, but he is quite reliable. I haven’t seen anything about this anywhere else yet, and as of right now, I have no further information, so I thought this would be a good place to start. If anyone else has more information, please share it.

Shares of Apple plummetted five percent or so before rebounding once people realized the story was a steaming load of B.S. Some people might have lost — or made — a nice bit of money in the brief moments of chaos. In fact, the SEC is investigating.

I’m still holding out for “Citizen Open Heart Surgery;” it might be one way out of this country’s health insurance mess.

Better yet, maybe I’ll call myself a “Citizen Electrician” and try to rewire somebody’s house for them; I’m sure that would be a public service.

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