Our baby’s first Halloween costume will be that of (drum roll, please) an ear of corn. When it comes to two-month olds, your choice of swaddling-style Halloween costumes is apparently quite limited. We chose between the corn and a banana costume that we found at the local K-Mart. The exact type of costume is pictured at your left (no, our baby is not the baby in the picture).
We’ll probably only take him around to relatives this year, rather than go trick-or-treating about the neighborhood. It seems rather perfidious to go trick-or-treating with an infant who is obviously too young to eat any of the candy he gathers.
A doorbell rings, and the door opens. A befuddled looking old couple stares at two 29+1 year-olds holding a corn-shaped infant. “Trick or treat,” the 29+1 year-olds shout. “Why, aren’t you an adorable ear of corn,” says the old lady. She puts some candy into the corn’s basket, held of course by one of the parents, and trails off while looking at the infant, “This is for . . . umm . . . you . . .”
Not particularly graceful.
Instead, my wife and I have settled on a more discreetly disingenuous method of gathering a stash of candy this Halloween. We will be handing out candy to all the neighborhood kids who come by, but — alas — I believe we have procured far more treats than we will need, meaning we will have a vast surplus when the night is through. However shall we rid ourselves of it?