Laziness-Inspired Overkill, It’s the American Way!

Provided the weather is not in a state of downpour tomorrow morning, and provided that we don’t have a baby between now and then, I’ve decided that I’m pretty much over this cough — finally — and will resume running tomorrow morning. Because the baby’s due date is this Saturday, I doubt I’ll get many more runs in for a while after that.

Since this is our first kid, and since as a result we’ll both really have no idea what we’re doing for a while, each of us will probably be afraid to be left totally alone in the house with the baby for a few weeks. We’ve made sure we’ll both be around all the time, as my wife is planning to take eight weeks off from work at that point, and as I’ll be done with full time work for a while at that point. So, instead of going outside to run for a few weeks once the baby comes, I’ll be going with Plan B — the rickety, all-manual stair climber sitting in our garage that I picked up for free a couple of years ago because someone decided they didn’t want it when the clock broke. It’s amazing how often people are willing to throw out things that work perfectly well. Sure, it’s squeaky, it doesn’t exercise exactly the same muscle groups as running, and you have to stare at the inside of the garage door the entire time while using it, but it provides just as good a cardiovascular workout all the same. Also, it has cup holders, which is a pretty amazing thing for a contraption that basically consists of two pedals and a handlebar connected to hydraulic tubes, and we have a stereo out there, too, to keep complete boredom at bay.

Of course, this is all assuming that we’re able to get anything vaguely resembling some time to sleep, let alone work out for a bit, over the next couple of weeks. I’ll just have to wait and see how this goes. Hopefully I won’t have to start from scratch all over again when I eventually am able to get back on the roads regularly.

Over the last week, the closest thing I’ve had to a workout has been mowing the lawn — which actually can be quite a workout since I refuse to use a gas-powered mower on our tiny yard and instead use an antique push mower from the 1950s. It rocks. There’s no safety covering, so the blades spin out in the open, and it’s made out of solid steel, except for the wheels and the handles. It also has a sickly yellow paint job, giving it an extra touch of class. The first couple of times I used it, I was offered gas mowers on three occasions by different people. I don’t understand that one bit, because we live in townhouse, as do those who offered the gas mowers. We live on the end of the row, so we have a bit more of a yard than the other people, but it’s very small all the same. I’m probably known on my street as “that crazy guy with the push mower.” Why someone feels compelled to use a gas-powered, self-propelled lawnmower on nothing but a tiny backyard for a middle of the row townhouse is beyond my ability to fathom. Then again, why I insist on using the push mower seems beyond the ability of anyone else to fathom. Laziness-inspired overkill, it’s the American Way!


One Response to “Laziness-Inspired Overkill, It’s the American Way!”

  1. Amy Says:

    My brother feels the exact same way about his push mower! Wish I could give you some advice on the new baby stuff, but since I’m not quite there I’ll just say good luck! Oh, and go visit Jeff’s blog(…he’s full of handy tips for new dads!

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