Yesterday Morning, with Props to Beckett, Groening, Jefferson and Marx

[A country road. A tree.]
[A runner appears on the horizon. His brain and a muscle group attempt to have a conversation.]

Brain: Oh, a bird in a tree.

Glute: Umm, hey.

Brain: A red bird. Birds go tweet, tweet.

Glute: Uhh…

Brain: Tweet, tweet, little birdie!

Glute: Hello?!

Brain: Tweet! That’s a strange word. I wonder where it came from. Damn I’m feeling loopy.

Glute: Yo!

Brain: Did I just hear a dog bark? No? Whew.

Glute: Hey! Down here!

Brain: I wonder how fast we’re going. Hey Eyes, take a look at the watch.

Eyes: Jawohl!

Brain: Wow, we’re going faster than I thought. This is gonna be a pretty good day.

Glute: Okay, he’s not listening at all. I’ve had enough.

Brain: Cool, the roosters are out on that farmer’s porch again.

Glute: When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one group of muscles to dissolve the bonds which have connected them to the bone, and to assume the powers of inflicting pain, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions the brain requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation…

Brain: Cock-a-doodle doo!

Glute: You just don’t listen, do you?

Brain: I’ve never been able to figure out why my mom has a paralyzing fear of chickens…


Brain: I mean, its not like they’re a hungry pack of wolves with foam dripping from their mouths or anything…

Glute: The muscles distain to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing bodily conditions. Let the ruling brain cells tremble at a muscular revolution. The sinews have nothing to lose but their chains. Muscles of all groups, unite!

Brain: … a rabid chicken, I’d pay to see that. Maybe with bolts sticking out of its neck, too, moving really herky-jerky like, and a deep, raspy voice that growls, “must crush capitalism.” You could make a lot of money off putting something like that on stage, because as P.T. Barnum once said… ouch. Oww. Crap. OWWW!

[The runner limps offstage. Enter Pozzo and Lucky.]


3 Responses to “Yesterday Morning, with Props to Beckett, Groening, Jefferson and Marx”

  1. The Week’s Running Summary and Meanderings « A Tale Told by an Idiot Says:

    […] last summer’s brush with tendonitis that sidelined me for three months, I’ve been probably a little too cautious in avoiding […]

  2. Exercise Video and Machines Says:

    Really nice site you have here. I’ve been reading for a while but this post made me want to say 2 thumbs up. Keep up the great work

    • Dina Says:

      I’m right there with ya’ .Well, I’m not on auto-run yet, but getting there. I too ended up w/ glute tetahnopdniy, then add some trochanter bursitis ITB flares as a result .Oh.. and peroneal tendon issues .All from being tighter than a rubber band . So right now my pre/post stretching routine takes longer than my running/cycling/swimming ..and sometimes I’m stretching more than working during the day, but after 2 weeks I’m not in pain and can run 5 miles/cycle 30 comfortably..AND still function 12 hours later!!! .lesson learned No more MRI here either!! Glad you’re on the mend!!

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