Naming Philadelphia’s MLS Team

I was reading this Philadelphia Inquirer article about the pitfalls of naming Philadelphia’s forthcoming MLS team and cringing at some of the potential names listed: Freedom, Wildcats, Constitution, and my personal non-favorite, AC Delco. Granted, that one was suggested as a joke and was kind of funny.

I began to wonder just what would be a good name for the team. There are obviously plenty of bad ones (i.e., Liberty, Atoms, Scrapple, Snowballs, Cheese Steaks, Fastnachts, Soft Pretzels, 700 Level). One name that initially struck me as another bad one is the Federals. The more I thought about it, though, the more I began to like it.

A name like the Philadelphia Federals has the alliterative aspect of both baseball’s Philadelphia Phillies and ice hockey’s Philadelphia Flyers, and it also invokes the city’s history, like basketball’s Philadelphia 76ers. More than that, you can have a lot of fun with that name. When the team is moving up in the table and about to catch someone else, you can say, “The Feds are closing in on so-and-so.” You can mess with financial news junkies by referring to the team’s manager as the “Philly Fed Chief.” If they sign a big-name player, then the Feds got their man. The team’s logo could have imagery invoking The Untouchables. After all, Philadelphia is the place that managed to throw Al Capone in the clink for several months while at the height of his power for carrying around an unregistered handgun. Fans could dress up in over-the-top 1920s garb in the stands…

Okay, so maybe “the Philadelphia Federals” is just as silly a name as all the others. Now that I think about it, “the Philadelphia 700 Level” looks like it could be fun, too…

Tags: Football, Major League Soccer, MLS, names, Philadelphia, Soccer