Never Try To Reason With A Baby

By ianheath653

There are some things in the universe that are totally incapable of listening to reason: rabid dogs, The Weekly Standard editorial staff, psychotics, and especially babies. For example, take this morning’s exchange:

Baby: Mrkgao!

Me: Ouch, that’s my hair you’re grabbing.

Baby: Ga-aaaah!

Me: You can let go any time now.

Baby: Mmmmmmm! Mmmmmmm!

Me: By “let go any time now,” I didn’t mean, “start tugging both sides simultaneously.”

Baby: Aaaah! HeHeHeHe!

Me: Yes, I know it’s funny, but daddy’s in pain.

Baby: Grbaaa!

Me: Now, we’re both reasonable individuals here, and I’m sure you can find something else to tug on.

Baby: Gaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaahbr!

Me: Why are you eating my nose?

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3 Responses to “Never Try To Reason With A Baby”

  1. Rodrigo Lagdameo Says:

    Exactly correct.

  2. Allison Says:

    Agreed!

    Me: Abby, don’t pull the dog’s foot. She’s going to bite you (dog growling).

    Child: Hehe, Zoe’s funny.

  3. indianamatt Says:

    My daughter’s current favorite thing is to come running when I’m lying or sitting on floor and to jump on me, landing on her butt, preferably on my stomach. She calls it “Jump Boom!” It kind of hurts.

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